Big Deal.

Today, I had to have two toenails removed. Horrible experience. Very painful. No numbing shots, just ripped the mothers out. I screamed. Not going to lie, I screamed the F word. It was bad. And I'm not a wuss when it comes to pain. I have a long list of prior painful experiences:

• four wisdom teeth pulled with only a shot of Novocain.
• extensive skin grafting.
• a failed skin graft where nerves were exposed.
• numbing shots to my neck when a line was threaded from my neck to my chest. Twice do to the residents error.

I've experienced pain, and have a fairly high threshold for it. The ripping of the toenails was up there on my Oh-my-goodness-what-the-fuvk-is-this-I-think-I-am-going-to-pass-out.

So, after the awful experience, I called in to work and said I wouldn't be in to the office and went and spent the day with my momma.

Then, Scooter and I chillaxed at home. He's kind of a big deal, you know.

And tomorrow is a new day. Thank goodness!

So, There's This Guy

Who is everything I want to avoid in a "partner." He's ambitious, self-centered, obnoxious, chauvinistic, hard-headed, hard-hearted, hard-bodied. He annoys the hell out of me. He laughs at all of my insults and never takes anything serious. It's infuriating.

I've really been missing K. The spring always reminds me of him. I kept my self so busy when I broke up with him- a new car, new job, new apartment, new city. I had to fill my life with things that kept me busy and I never really took time to be sad and get over him. You know that feeling when you think you're going to throw up? Your stomach lurches and your breathe comes in a gasp and then the up heave begins? Yeah, that describes me right now. Lurching stomachs and up heaves. Pretty imagery.

Back to this new guy. He really does infuriate me. So, this morning, I sent him a list of the reasons I don't like him. I'm so sweet myself, I know.

#24. Visit at Least One City Park

On Sunday morning, Scooter and I got up early and went to a local metro park. It's very close, about a mile away from where I live. It's beautiful. What constitutes its beauty? Lots of things, but my favorite is that there's a lake with stone bridges!

Scooter greatly enjoyed our visit to the park. I have to be honest though, driving with him stresses me out. I need to buy a harness, because his flipping back and forth in the seats is distracting and agitating to me. Otherwise, it was a very enjoyable day at the park. Scooter let some kids pet him and he didn't try to chase too many geese.


After the park, I needed some coffee. I drove around the big university here in town, because I had once spotted a cool looking coffee shop that sells fair-trade coffee, but I couldn't find it. And remember how I said riding with Scooter is distracting? Well, I didn't want to add to my distractions by pulling out the GPS system. Driving in an unfamiliar area + a jumpy dog + fumbling with GPS does not equate to safe driving conditions. So, we headed home where Scooter took his post at the front window and barked at everything that caught his eye.

Real Conversation

At the Student Union with my colleague (who mistakenly thinks she's my boss) and the temp admin assistant (60-something male).

Colleague: Oh, J, I am just noticing your nails are painted a gray color.

Me: Oh, yeah, I wanted something a bit different.

Admin: Looks nice. Some girls today will get wild with different colors on each nail.

Colleague: I don't like colored nails. At all.

Me: Well, each person is different.

Colleague: And who has the time to do that anyway?

Admin: You mean you can't take an hour to treat yourself to a manicure?

Colleague: No, I am much too busy. But who does have time for that??


Yes, I find time to paint my nails. I also find time to have lunch with my grandma, go to the movies with my girlfriends, go out with my cousin, walk my dog on rainy days, call my mom every afternoon, and I even find the time to read books. Why is it a war to see who is the busiest? The person who is the most stressed out and overworked gets a prize?

Unfit.

There was a big event at work this week. I had to attend various dinners and receptions on most nights this week. Yesterday was the big event. I got up, put Scooter in his raincoat and took a brief walk through the neighborhood. I knew I'd be home a bit later, so I let him linger in the vacant lot a few streets over, letting him get his fill of the outside before being crated for the better part of the day. We came back to the apartment, I got ready and ventured out into the rainy day. I had to stop at another university on my way to the Big Event, and rain + city traffic + college students + time constraints = me getting frazzled.

Finally, I made it to the Big Event. I went through the workshops and sat through a great keynote speaker, who mentioned me (me?! the lowest degree holder in the room) and a conversation we had the previous night at dinner. Then there was a long workshop that went over. It was supposed to be done by 4, but ran on until 5. And then there was a reception. I kept thinking about Scooter Pooter (Charles' nickname for him) in the crate and quickly ducked out of the reception and hurried home.

I got home, immediately took Scooter out for a longer walk and came back and made dinner. I needed to go to Target to get cat litter and some treats for Scooter. Scooter loves riding in the car. Plus, I was feeling guilty for Scooter being in the crate most of the day, so I took him with me to Target.

I was in Target about 25 minutes. I grabbed a few things, including some tougher toys and a kong to put treats in for Scooter, and came out to the car. What I found was Scooter had broken his leash in two and broken the flashlight that was attached to the leash handle and he ate a pack of gum. I drove home and once home, gave Scooter his kong filled with peanut butter to see how he did with it. A friend called and I mentioned Scooter had eaten some gum while I was in Target.

"Sugar-free?" She asked.
"Um, probably. Why?" I said.
"Sugar-free gum has a chemical in it that is highly toxic to dogs."

I rushed out to the car and got the package. Yep, "sugar-free with Xylitol" right on the package. I called a 24-hour Vet Clinic and a vet called me back within three minutes. I explained that it had probably been about an hour since he ate the gum, that he is two years old, around 10 to 12 pounds, that I'm a failure and unfit.

When I told her he wasn't displaying any signs of low blood sugar, she told me to get some hydrogen peroxide, give him 4 tablespoons and make him throw up. I told her I didn't have any hydrogen peroxide, she told me to get some ASAP, go to the store and take Scooter and make him throw up in the parking lot. If he didn't throw up, call her back and she would meet me at the clinic.

I threw on my shoes, grabbed Scooter and raced to Kroger. I bought the hydrogen peroxide and raced out to the car. I drove to a grassy area, poured approximately 4 tablespoons into a bowl and made Scooter drink it. He only drank about half of it, so I had to put him on the hood of the car, pry open his mouth and squirt it in, which of course, resulted in getting some in his eye. Huge fucking fail.

And then I walked him around the grass, stroked him, and talked to him. I try to coax him to drink a bit more. After several minutes, he started to throw up.

Hallelujah!

He threw up, we walked some more, then went home and he played as if nothing was wrong and was soon snoring under the covers. I, of course, stayed up half the night, looking for signs of low blood sugar and waking him up occasionally to make sure all was right.

I feel so unfit to be a "puppy parent." I can't believe he ate the gum and that I didn't know sugar-free gum can be lethal to dogs. Epic fail. I am so glad that he's okay and nothing horrible happened.

Thirty While Thirty: #28 Scooter

28. Adopt a Rescue Dog

I have been wanting and preparing to adopt a dog for the past several months. I've wanted a dog for years. A cute little French Bulldog or a Poodle/Schnauzer mix, like Colleen, my dog growing up. Or a Yorkie. I had several images in my head of the dog that I'd bring home when the time was right.


Enter Scooter. He's not what I pictured at all, but he's perfect for me! He's an adorable 2 year old Dachshund mix. He's soooo well-behaved. Crate-trained, house broken, loves to snuggle and is not a barker. His personality is happy-go-lucky and super laid back. Did I tell you how much in love I am with him?



He was pulled from a high-kill shelter in West Virginia and was being fostered through a private animal rescue group. I spent Saturday visiting with my mom and had plans to go out to a play with some girlfriends in the evening. While out running errands with my mom, I stopped in PetSmart to get cat food and walked out with a dog. I took him under a week of fostering, to make sure he meshes well with Alex before making the permanent commitment.



Not gonna lie- Alex is not that thrilled with sharing his kingdom. There's been just one little spat between them. I closely monitor both of them at all times and yesterday (as shown above) we spent some time chillaxing on the bed. I did some work and they slept. Scooter (by the way, that's the name he came with and answers to), is open to Alex, and Alex is a bully. Yes, I've raised a bully. Alex will walk over to Scooter and hiss and growl. I caught Alex doing that while Scooter was in his crate last night. Also, throughout the night, Alex will slowly stalk Scooter and I woke up several times to find Alex peering at Scooter's sleeping body. I still give Alex love and make sure I have one-on-one time with him. It's just going to take an adjustment and we're working on it each day.

Well, I can cross one (gigantic) thing off of the Thirty While Thirty List.

Procrastination.

I am a horrible procrastinator. I wait until the very last minute to finish projects or, honestly start and finish a project. I wait until the midnight hour to work on reports or presentations. Of course, I will have spent plenty of time thinking about what I should do, say, or write, but I never put those things into action until the last minute.

Like today.

But, here are some things I am loving:


Downton Abbey. It's good. My description can't do it justice. I kept hearing about it, and finally decided to watch it over the weekend.


The Hyacinth I bought for my office is starting to bloom. Hyacinths are one of my favorite flowers.


Alex. He looks adorable and peaceful when he sleeps. Based on this picture, one wouldn't believe the stories of how aggressive and destructive he can be at times.

That's enough procrastinating for now.