Last weekend, I went out with the girls to a winery. It was great.
Food + Wine + Good Friends = Me Making a Declaration.
I declared that for the next six months, I would be focusing on me. I would not go on a date, look at a man or even entertain the thought of a relationship. I need to work on me and work through these feelings of hurt and sadness and anger that come from K's infidelity. After I made the declaration, I saw my friends give each other knowing looks, but I dismissed them.
P said "oh, as soon as that was said, you'll find someone."
I scoffed.
I went to DC for a conference this weekend. And? I met someone. Out of the blue. He was at the conference and we started talking and there was this little click, it sounds just like the seat belt going into the buckle.
I don't know where it's going to go, and I'm still taking time to work through the past relationship. Isn't it funny where our paths take us?
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
It's Okay
It’s Okay If . . . . .
• The only pair of shoes that are suitable for walking all over this ginormous university campus are ugly as sin.
• I stayed up until 1 am on Sunday night putting together an evaluation plan and timeline.
• And then stayed up until 2:30am watching The Office.
• I switch my allegiance from the Cincinnati Reds to the St. Louis Cardinals due to an amazing World Series.
• I bought new pajamas in anticipation of my upcoming travels.
• I am excited about being home for the holidays.
• That my car makes me feel slightly grown-up.
• And even if everyone and the New York Times says it’s a great book, I didn’t like it.
• The only pair of shoes that are suitable for walking all over this ginormous university campus are ugly as sin.
• I stayed up until 1 am on Sunday night putting together an evaluation plan and timeline.
• And then stayed up until 2:30am watching The Office.
• I switch my allegiance from the Cincinnati Reds to the St. Louis Cardinals due to an amazing World Series.
• I bought new pajamas in anticipation of my upcoming travels.
• I am excited about being home for the holidays.
• That my car makes me feel slightly grown-up.
• And even if everyone and the New York Times says it’s a great book, I didn’t like it.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Why We Can't be Friends.
Why we can’t be friends:
1. Whenever I talk to you, I will always think of you with her and that hurts me.
2. I value my friends and want to be a very good friend to them. You don’t deserve that level of kindness and devotion from me anymore.
3. An important aspect of friendship is trust and honesty; you have given me neither.
4. I forgive too easily and if we’re friends, I will forgive you and it will become a slippery slope.
5. You hurt me. There’s plenty of badness and unkindness in this world that I don’t need to invite more of that into my life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7XR0OSFlzo
1. Whenever I talk to you, I will always think of you with her and that hurts me.
2. I value my friends and want to be a very good friend to them. You don’t deserve that level of kindness and devotion from me anymore.
3. An important aspect of friendship is trust and honesty; you have given me neither.
4. I forgive too easily and if we’re friends, I will forgive you and it will become a slippery slope.
5. You hurt me. There’s plenty of badness and unkindness in this world that I don’t need to invite more of that into my life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7XR0OSFlzo
Monday, October 17, 2011
Commuting
Head ache. Sore throat. Rosy cheeks. Long commute.
This past month has been a whirlwind. And it was exactly what I needed to move forward. Coming to a new city I’ve not been to before and figuring things out couldn’t have been planned at a better time. St. Louis had too many memories and Cincinnati is too close to home. Where I am now is a nice compromise. I’m away from all those memories and that entwined life and yet I’m not too far from home.
One of the best pieces of advice I got recently was once I’ve made a decision, to stick to it and not look back. I think often times, I’ve been prone to play the “what if” game and it can undermine my confidence and determination. I’ve shut the door on the “what if I had gone another route” game and am focusing on the path that I’m on now.
There have been some bumps on the road I’m on now, things I’m working on ironing out. Housing has been a bit more difficult than I thought it would be in this new city. The commute is quickly wearing me down. I’ve seemed to have caught a bug from a little friend (the one that likes to pinch you until you bleed). Though, by far, I think my biggest challenge will be the political quagmire my new position is nestled in here.
I have several exciting travel plans coming up in the near future. Next month, I am going to D.C. to meet the project funders. In February, I am going to San Diego for a personal trip and in March I am off to Atlanta for another personal trip. I hope to go to the seaside in May or June for a family trip.
Another bonus to this new position is one of my colleagues is Scottish (!). And the first thing he said to me upon meeting me is “Ye Irish are ye?” I laughed and he said “Ye must be with that surname and that wild red hair.” I didn't tell him that it's often my short temper that betrays my Irish roots.
This past month has been a whirlwind. And it was exactly what I needed to move forward. Coming to a new city I’ve not been to before and figuring things out couldn’t have been planned at a better time. St. Louis had too many memories and Cincinnati is too close to home. Where I am now is a nice compromise. I’m away from all those memories and that entwined life and yet I’m not too far from home.
One of the best pieces of advice I got recently was once I’ve made a decision, to stick to it and not look back. I think often times, I’ve been prone to play the “what if” game and it can undermine my confidence and determination. I’ve shut the door on the “what if I had gone another route” game and am focusing on the path that I’m on now.
There have been some bumps on the road I’m on now, things I’m working on ironing out. Housing has been a bit more difficult than I thought it would be in this new city. The commute is quickly wearing me down. I’ve seemed to have caught a bug from a little friend (the one that likes to pinch you until you bleed). Though, by far, I think my biggest challenge will be the political quagmire my new position is nestled in here.
I have several exciting travel plans coming up in the near future. Next month, I am going to D.C. to meet the project funders. In February, I am going to San Diego for a personal trip and in March I am off to Atlanta for another personal trip. I hope to go to the seaside in May or June for a family trip.
Another bonus to this new position is one of my colleagues is Scottish (!). And the first thing he said to me upon meeting me is “Ye Irish are ye?” I laughed and he said “Ye must be with that surname and that wild red hair.” I didn't tell him that it's often my short temper that betrays my Irish roots.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Gulp.
First day of new position.
Walking across the cobblestone, my first thought was "please, please do not let a heel get caught in the cobblestone and fall and twist ankle on day one."
So far, so good.
It's a lot to learn and definitely out of my comfort zone. I have crazy painful blisters on the back of my heels due to leaving my work appropriate shoes in the storage unit in St. Louis and having to wear cute-but-ill-fitting heels.
I think it's going to be okay.
Walking across the cobblestone, my first thought was "please, please do not let a heel get caught in the cobblestone and fall and twist ankle on day one."
So far, so good.
It's a lot to learn and definitely out of my comfort zone. I have crazy painful blisters on the back of my heels due to leaving my work appropriate shoes in the storage unit in St. Louis and having to wear cute-but-ill-fitting heels.
I think it's going to be okay.
Friday, October 7, 2011
In Case I Forget
"I'm going to pinch you until you bleed."
When did four-year-old girls get so mean?
Of course, this wasn't said to me. Why? Because kids love me.
Why? Because I bribe the hell out of them.
It works.
When did four-year-old girls get so mean?
Of course, this wasn't said to me. Why? Because kids love me.
Why? Because I bribe the hell out of them.
It works.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Highs and Lows
The moving van is arriving in 48 hours.
I'm not packed.
I have tons of loose ends to finish before I leave.
My office gave me a farewell party today. It was there that I realized that I'm leaving. I've been so busy distracting myself from everyday life that it just kind of hit me. My project manager was a beast, but I made some good friends at the office and will really miss them.
I took another job offer. I felt torn between both places and asked for advice from so many different people. I took the position that will be working in a university setting. I am going to use these next two years as my rebuilding years. Hey, if the Bengals can say they've been rebuilding for the past 15 years, I can take two years, right?
Sometimes, I let the reality of life without K settle on me. There's relief mostly, but there is some sadness and hurt. I had painted this picture of how life was going to be and how things would turn out. Yes, I know that picture would have never turned into reality and I'm working on letting go.
AlexCat and I have been spending lots of time together. I never, ever pegged myself for a cat person and I don't actually like other cats, but I am in love with Alex. He has this huge personality in his huge cat body. He watches over me when I sleep, he whines when he wants wet food, he whines when he wants attention, he whines when he wants to play. So, he might be a little bit of a whiner and maybe a little bit high maintenance. Birds of a feather, we flock together!
I'm not packed.
I have tons of loose ends to finish before I leave.
My office gave me a farewell party today. It was there that I realized that I'm leaving. I've been so busy distracting myself from everyday life that it just kind of hit me. My project manager was a beast, but I made some good friends at the office and will really miss them.
I took another job offer. I felt torn between both places and asked for advice from so many different people. I took the position that will be working in a university setting. I am going to use these next two years as my rebuilding years. Hey, if the Bengals can say they've been rebuilding for the past 15 years, I can take two years, right?
Sometimes, I let the reality of life without K settle on me. There's relief mostly, but there is some sadness and hurt. I had painted this picture of how life was going to be and how things would turn out. Yes, I know that picture would have never turned into reality and I'm working on letting go.
AlexCat and I have been spending lots of time together. I never, ever pegged myself for a cat person and I don't actually like other cats, but I am in love with Alex. He has this huge personality in his huge cat body. He watches over me when I sleep, he whines when he wants wet food, he whines when he wants attention, he whines when he wants to play. So, he might be a little bit of a whiner and maybe a little bit high maintenance. Birds of a feather, we flock together!
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