Thursday, May 13, 2010

32 Days

It’s thirty-two days left. . and emotions are flying high. Last night, there was a huge eruption, and I still feel so horrible about it. Last night played out with more drama than even an episode of Real Housewives: New Jersey. I told my friend, Lindsay, that I had definitely had my “flip the table” moment.

I forgave him for what happened prior to the fight, and he forgave me.
But it still doesn’t feel right.

And I wonder if things are just being so fractured that they can’t be put back together?

This is the first relationship where I feel like I’ve invested so much, and a lot is on the line. If our relationship isn’t “feeling right” how do I just move 4,000 miles away from everyone I know and love to be with him?

We have long-shot odds:
Different cultures
Different religions
Different nationalities
Different professions
Different geographical locations



He’s going to be a field biologist in a remote country, where communication is limited. I’m a social worker in a city, where communication is always available.

I keep thinking that this separation is going to be so hard on . . . . well, me. I mean, obviously, I like him more than he likes me, and I like to get attention from him, so I’ll miss him most. Plus, I’ll be living in the same apartment we shared, going to the same places we frequented, so reminders of his (lack of) presence will be everywhere.

With all of our differences, the immense geographical distance, and the recent fighting, how is it going to work out?


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